And just like that, the Chiefs sent out a message that should make mothers all across America cringe:

Drink and drive: Come out looking like a million bucks, and watch as those who mistreated you regret their foolish ways.

OK, so you won’t come out looking like a million bucks … You’ll come out looking like a heck of a lot more than that. That’s precisely the story that has been unfolding over the past year in Kansas City and finally culminated on Tuesday night, when the Chiefs traded Pro Bowl DE Jared Allen to Minnesota.

At the root of the trade was the Chiefs’ insistence that they didn’t feel comfortable giving Allen the long-term extension he desired, partially because two DUI arrests in 2006 served notice that he couldn’t, in their opinion, be trusted for the long haul. After playing under a one-year deal worth $2.35 million in '07, the Chiefs opted to slap Allen with the franchise tag for ’08, after negotiations hit a snag this past season. 

When he realized that the Chiefs wouldn’t extend him a deal commensurate with a player of his ability, Allen responded by saying the Chiefs lied to him about their promise to take care of him, and that he would bolt for greener pastures after serving out the season in Kansas City.

Much to the delight of Allen and the Vikings, he doesn’t have to wait a year. According to the Kansas City Star, Allen signed a six-year deal worth an incredible $74 million, $31 million of which is guaranteed. It's one of the largest deals for a defensive player in league history.

From financial and on-field perspectives, the situation couldn’t set up better for Allen.

Perhaps the most feared sack artist in the game, he figures to have a legitimate a shot of breaking Michael Strahan’s 2001 single-season sack record of 22½. If I were fixing an over-under on his sack total, I’d put it at 20. He posted a league-high 15½ in ’07 despite being suspended the first two games for his DUI arrests, as well as having to battle through constant double-teams in the remaining 14 games thanks to the utterly uninspiring play of DTs Ron Edwards and Alfonso Boone. Next season, opponents won’t have as easy of a time allocating blockers to Allen, as offenses need to account for the Vikings' dominating DT duo of Kevin Williams and Pat Williams.

According to reports, the Chiefs received the Vikings' first-round pick (No. 17) and two third-round picks (the 73rd and 82nd overall picks) in compensation. Additionally, the teams swapped picks in the sixth round, with the Vikings getting the 170th overall pick and the Chiefs taking the 182nd pick.

When putting the trade in the context with everything else the Chiefs have done this offseason, it can be summed up this way: Carl Peterson, the venerable team president for nearly two decades, has lost his mind.

The Allen trade was the icing on the cake — or is it BBQ sauce on the ribs in Kansas City? — and stands as the most baffling decision in an offseason teeming with them.

The Allen saga aside, it’s amazing to think that a team as bereft of talent at so many positions could do so little in free agency, especially considering they have ample salary-cap space. Of their few signings, only ex-Falcons OLB Demorrio Williams is anything more than an undistinguished body. They swung (or attempted to swing) and missed on C Jeff Faine and PK Josh Brown, although in the Chiefs’ defense, I’m not so quick to dismiss coach Herm Edwards’ tacit commentary that the Buccaneers and Rams jumped the free-agent gun for them.

Still, how is it possible that a team coming off a 4-12 disaster that lost its final nine contests and has such glaring holes across the offensive line, at wide receiver and in the secondary, acquires next to nobody before the draft? That’s not even mentioning the wholly pedestrian QB stable and DT rotation.

Peterson and Edwards have both addressed this question, saying they’re looking to build through the draft. I understand the appeal of wanting to approach personnel this way, but there’s a difference between “building through the draft” and “being completely dependent on the draft to even have a prayer of fielding a competitive team within the next three seasons.”

Forget about 2008. The Chiefs have about as good a chance of posting a winning record as Ann Coulter has of delivering the opening speech at this summer's Democratic National Convention.

Alas, the Chiefs are at least loaded with draft picks. With two picks in the first, fifth, sixth and seventh rounds, three picks in the third round, and one in Rounds Two and Four, youthful energy will run rampant in Kansas City in the fall. But assuming the pups act their age, it’s going to look like a lot of J.V. vs. varsity scrimmages out there, particularly early on.

Making the Kansas City train wreck even sadder is if the young Chiefs mature into a quality squad years down the line, Peterson won’t even be able to enjoy it as team president. His contract expires after the ’09 season, and both he and owner Clark Hunt are in agreement that it’s best for the two parties to part ways at that point in time.

Until then, normally raucous Arrowhead Stadium will be eerily quiet, as a passionate fan base bemoans how the once-proud Chiefs have devolved into the laughingstock of the league. Then they’ll flip on the television, see a purple-clad Jared Allen wrestle down yet another quarterback, and will be reminded of what could’ve been.

What should’ve been.