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Dec. 4, 2008

 

 

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Talking-head watch

Networks, personalities committing fair share of flubs

By Barry Jackson
Nov. 30, 2007

 
 
 

For all of the good work done by the NFL’s rights-holders, there’s also plenty that drives me nuts. Here’s some of what has irked me this season:

 Intellectually lazy analysis. Classic case: On Nov. 4, ESPN teased that Emmitt Smith would “reveal which back will run wild” in Minnesota that day — Minnesota’s Adrian Peterson or San Diego’s LaDainian Tomlinson. Not predict, mind you. But reveal!

Smith took the lazy approach, saying L.T. would “have the better day because he has a better supporting cast.” But if that’s the case, wouldn’t productive running backs on good teams always outgain those on bad teams? That’s a hogwash theory with numerous examples to the contrary — look at Ronnie Brown, who was leading the NFL in yards from scrimmage before a knee injury ended his season for the woeful Dolphins.

So what happened? Peterson rushed for an NFL single-game record 296 yards. Tomlinson had 40. Instead, why didn’t Smith consider that Minnesota has been among the league leaders against the run, and that the Chargers’ defense has been erratic?

 Misleading analysis. This is equally irksome as “intellectually lazy analysis.” One example: Fox’s Daryl Johnston said he respects Dolphins QB Trent Green for “making that decision” to go on injured reserve, apparently unaware — or choosing to disregard — the minor detail that Green opposed the move, which was made for him by Dolphins management.

 On-screen clutter: Yes, we like the continuous score ticker, but why must CBS insert a flashing light around the winning team? That’s yet another distraction to pull our eyes away from the field. And why must Fox post large graphics with pre-game statistical minutiae about other games after updates from Curt Menefee?

 In-booth clutter: ESPN promised to show more restraint with celebrity guest appearances, but we’ve still been subjected to time-wasting chats with Russell Crowe, Drew Carey and Vince Vaughn.

 Clichés and mispronunciations: It’s bad enough when players say, “It is what it is.” But shouldn’t we expect more from networks analysts? Fox’s Tim Ryan resorted to that mind-numbing cliché after Bears QB Brian Griese threw an interception.

And shouldn’t Fox’s Terry Bradshaw be expected to know players’ names if he’s going to continue narrating highlights? Titans PK Rob Bironas was the latest one to give him problems.

 Ridiculous pregame topics: In an effort to promote its Web site, Fox has been using viewer questions in its weekly roundtable discussion. But couldn’t Fox come up with anything better than asking if officials should be required to wear helmets? “Who cares?” Jimmy Johnson said, dismissively.

And before the Patriots-Colts matchup, ESPN spent several minutes debating which team has the “mental edge.” After back-and-forth chatter, Bill Parcells gave the best answer: “Neither,” he said, “because it’s a new season.” Parcells should have said that in the production room before ESPN decided to fill time on the issue.

Analysis of meaty topics is the backbone of pregame shows, but if the subjects aren’t interesting, why not spend the time on something else — a player profile, an investigative piece, or a poignant piece like Bob Costas’ interview with Mike Nolan about his dad, Dick, several weeks before Dick Nolan’s recent death?

In that HBO piece, we saw grainy, heart-wrenching footage of Dick Nolan’s former players visiting him in a nursing home two months before his passing, but Nolan unable to communicate with them while in the advanced stages of a battle with Alzheimer’s disease.

Around the dial

 Credit usually brash ESPN analyst Keyshawn Johnson for doing something we never expected: admitting a mistake. But Johnson made it clear how unusual that is for him. “I’m finally wrong,” he said. “I thought Braylon Edwards would be David Terrell and out of the league in two years.”

 It was one thing for Bradshaw to disagree with Don Shula’s suggestion that the Patriots should have an asterisk by their record because of Spygate (should they go unbeaten). But it was a bit much for Bradshaw to say of Shula, “I didn’t even know he was still around.”

 In a genre where there’s too much forced humor and silliness, CBS’ Shannon Sharpe consistently delivers lines that elicit a smile. He captured the Chargers’ situation perfectly when he said, “You fire a guy who can’t win in the playoffs (Marty Schottenheimer) to hire a guy who can’t win in the regular season (Norv Turner).”

 When the Dolphins dominated time of possession in a 13-10 loss to the Bills, CBS’ Steve Tasker asserted, “They want the football more than the Bills.” Huh? How would anybody know that? A more logical explanation: Miami’s offensive line, especially in the running game, was better than the Bills’ D-line in the first half. But I guess it’s easier to cite desire as the reason, even without any supporting evidence.

 Sometimes you wonder what directors are thinking. When there was pushing and shoving among several players on the field late in the Pittsburgh-Cleveland game, the natural question was whether it would escalate into something more serious. But instead of sticking with an on-field shot, CBS switched to video of an expressionless player on the Cleveland bench.

Barry Jackson covers sports broadcasting for the Miami Herald and Pro Football Weekly.

 
   






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