I read what NFL commissioner Roger Goodell had to say about his football corporation possibly upping to an 18-game schedule, and the talk reminded me of one of those characters in his 30s or 40s who goes out and marries a way older, ultrarich widow. The media grabs the story and asks, "Is it true romance? Are there ulterior motives?" and the newlywed groom fires back, "Grace (or Clara or Millie) is a warm, wonderful person. We have so much in common, and we're very much in love. Isn't that right, sweetheart?"

And the lonely old soul, who now barely talks, rests in her wheelchair with her warm glass of water and leaks a dead smile before turning back toward the window.

For the record, Goodell's proclamation at a recent owners' meeting was, "I think fans have spoken loudly: They want less preseason and more regular season."

That's a curious line. It's curious because I don't think "the fans" are saying that at all. Well, they'd likely be fine with a reduced preseason, deleting one or two of those nothing games, but that's a hell of an old conversation. What they're really groaning about — and have been for decades — is being forced to pay top-dollar prices to watch exhibition work. Two August home games a year, at full admission and concessions and parking, to watch the subs and rookies slog it out.

But more regular season? Eighteen games, plus one, maybe two bye weeks? Now we've stretched this thing nearly into March, and Goodell's words seem real fishy because I have never heard one good NFL fan complain that the season was too short. I've heard NBA fans and baseball purists moan about theirs being too long, but not the football diehards.

Most I've talked to say it's quite fine the way it stands. Which makes one suspect ulterior motives when listening to Goodell, as he chirps about what's best for "the fans," as he refills their cup of warm water and props their pillow.

Extending the regular season is ugly for two reasons — (1) oversaturation, (2) the extra waste and grind on the players, the hard assets.

There is enough TV football already, plenty of it. Five crammed months, plus the college action layered in on Saturdays. Adding more games is dilution. TV ratings may even eventually slip, as Sundays won't seem so special-reserve, so must-see.

As for guard and tackle and tailback erosion, here's the math for an NFL wild-card team that climbs to the championship in an 18-game layout: 2 exhibitions + 18 regulars + 1 wild card + 1 divisional playoff + 1 conference title + 1 Super Bowl = 24 games. A flesh grinder, a butcher's block. Two college seasons. Human bodies aren't meant for it. Think NFL careers are short stories now?

Bears TE Desmond Clark gave this fix to The Associated Press: "I would vote to eliminate two preseason games and then keep it at a 16-game regular season because the longer you're out there playing, the more your body breaks down. When you get into December, you're like walking zombies. You can feel your joints."

Clark's got it right. His idea is what's best for the employees.

More payout, wringing the networks for two more weeks of prime TV dough — that's what's best for the owners.

And Goodell's beloved fans, his warm, weak-smiled sweethearts … come on. They really have nothing to do with it.

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