Fantasy football puts me on edge. Haiku poetry relaxes me. The logical solution to fantasy stress: write haikus about frustrating fantasy performers ...

BRIAN WESTBROOK
So good when healthy
Injury report fixture
Needs suit of armor

CALVIN JOHNSON
Very hard to excel
Playing for sorry Lions
Better years ahead?

SANTONIO HOLMES
Brilliant Super Bowl
Supposed to herald greatness
Stop being a tease

LaDAINIAN TOMLINSON
Hitting the wall hard
Glory days are in the past
Darren Sproles better

TERRELL OWENS
It's cosmic justice
For mouthy T.O. to play
With these quarterbacks

ROY WILLIAMS
Nice pickup, Cowboys
At least Roy won't cause headaches
Like Terrell Owens

BRANDON JACOBS
Running style takes toll
But a decline this early?
Still hope for big dude

MATT CASSEL
Who'd have imagined
That a move from Pats to Chiefs
Would lead to drop-off?

CLINTON PORTIS
O-line is brutal
If I were Portis I would
Milk this concussion

MATT FORTÉ
Blame sophomore slump
On lousy offensive line
Season-wrecking pick

JASON CAMPBELL
Scanning down the field
Sacks bring pain to you and me
Get rid of damn ball

ANQUAN BOLDIN
He is tough as hell
But needs change of scenery
Soon gone from 'Zona

WILLIE PARKER
Fast Willie Parker
Fast becoming obsolete
Mendenhall too good

STEVE SMITH (Panthers)
Playing with Delhomme
Could be karmic payback for
Punching Ken Lucas

LENDALE WHITE
No benefit from
New commitment to fitness
Some tequila, sir?

TED GINN JR.
Christmas coming soon
Hope you find new pair of hands
Underneath your tree

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